I'm no Body Image Expert but I'm figuring that if you're buck naked and flicking an angry middle finger at your digital bathroom scale, it's probably time to take some sort of serious action.

The number on there was a brand new one for me. So maybe pizza for both dinner and lunch yesterday wasn't the healthiest, most weight-conscious option. Oh yeah, I just had another slice for lunch today (you can't let perfectly good food go to waste, can you?) Awww, shit, this isn't good. (Mental note to self: You have to order from Fresh Direct today.)

Arggghhhhh, I'm just so mad at myself right now. I finally found the courage a few months back to break up with my scale, and I promised myself that this time it was going to be for good. No more of all that drama, the tears, the countless lies and broken promises. I mean, I finally had to say "enough is enough already" and I tucked him neatly behind a little cabinet to gather dust and mind his own damn business. And I was actually doing really great without him.

Now granted he's been on my mind so much lately, what with all those buttons bursting open and ill-fitting big ol' butt pants taunting me from the closet. I kept trying to blame it on over-drying and shrinking my clothes but I'm not sure that that's really plausible.

Of all days, did it have to be today that I get all weak and needy? Really of all days it had to be today that I reach out to him? That's it, I'm totally going to fire my shrink for this one. I mean, what the hell am I paying good money for to deal with these body image/self-esteem issues if in the end, left to my own devices, I'm getting all aggressive with an inanimate object? That's just plain crazy.

Oh wait, hang on a second. I spent all of last night crying my eyes out after we put our nearly 17-year-old cat to sleep. So this must be some sort of personal punishment thing going on here. OK, that didn't take all that long to figure out so maybe the therapy is actually working. And hmmm, come to think of it, perhaps I could possibly consider non-bread type foods for a meal or two once in a while. Or maybe I could use that jogger I bought a couple of months ago. Get the wheels aligned already and stop using that as yet another excuse for not being fit.

Anyway, I'm feeling like the Grim Reaper today. Not all wicked and sinewy but more like a bloated, weepy, reluctant Reaper.

(God Bless our little Calli who has hopefully made it up to Kitty Heaven by now. )